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Posted 12-05-2008 at 09:29 by moruk

What can I say...

I'm lost...

I thought a lot...

I was hurt...

I was depressed... I'm still depressed...

Because there is nothing I can do to let you stay when you want to go with clear heart to your own future, that is separate to mine...

But I need to thank you...

Thank you for your friendship that starts in the year 2005...

Thank you for that true-life emails & photos you sent me...

Thanks for a long midnight online conversations...

Thanks for coffee that you drank for me...

Thanks for our meeting in Istanbul...

Thanks for holding my hand while we were crossing the street...

Thanks for your fingers that are so similar to mine...

Thanks for sitting in a cafe full of chocolates...

Thanks for that delightful promenade under rain...

Thanks for sitting & smoking hubble&bubble under Galata Bridge...

Thanks for playing guitar for me...

Thanks for that unforgettable night in candle lights...

Thanks for kisses that were so tender & passionate...

Thanks for long kisses in silence...

Thanks for let me kiss your face...

Thank for your listening for my "I love you" to your left ear...

Thanks for sleeping together...

Thanks for phonecalls & videochats that made me incredibly happy...

Thanks for all of your smiles to me...

Thanks for minutes of significant quietness we spend together...

Thanks for giving me that miracle hope of our future life together! Because I lived in this dream & it keeps me alive when everything was going bad in my life here... Really for the last 5 months all my life was looking like Existance only: work-studying-courses-work-medical conferences-work-studying-getting ill because of stress-work-studying-etc... I haven't seen my friends for this time, I didn't make calls, I didn't write emails... because when I got home I could only sleep... Now, finally, my courses are finished & I hope I'll have a little time for Life, for connection with people I care... But all this time you didn't write anything... I thought that you are so busy... But I still can't understand: don't u even have time for sms? Even sms online as you did before... You did some things that made me worry but you asked me to trust you... When I saw that you don't write me anything I understood that if you'll continue like this it means you are not interested in me anymore... I wanted to remind Me to you... I wrote in MSN "I miss u..." I hoped you will look at this &... remember that I am... I added new photos in Space... I wanted to attract your attention to Me... But it was useless...

& now summer is coming... Summer that I dreamed about... Summer holidays together...

Last 3 days showed me that you don't care about Us... Maybe it's because Us were only in my imagination... It's painful...

But...

Thanks for beeing in my life...

Thank you, My Love!

We spend so little time together but it was really happy time in my life. I was incredibly happy. I will never forget it.
Anyway with a time running I'll forget everything failed in our relationships & I will remember only the best things connected to u. That's how human's memory works... & I hope you'll keep good memories about me.

I was sincere to you. There is no sin for me I can be blamed. I loved you with all my heart. I tryied to do my best to support our relationships. But it's not enough to keep us together... Last year I lost 4 friends, 4 girls I spent my good & bad times together... But I was so sure in you... I didn't expect I can loose you...

My Yoga teacher said: "True Love is not like 2 souls join together when they make love but True Love is when One soul is separated by 2 bodies"... I thought we have one soul...

I know I will feel heartache everytime I'll heard "Bury me deep inside" & of course that turkish song... "Olurum hasretinle"... it wiIl remind about that happy love that will never happen. & when I see "DHL" I'll remember about you & coffee that you wanted to send to me...

I wish you the best of everything. I wish you every success in your life. I wish a good health to your parents & sister.
I wish you a lovely girlfriend, finally wife & cute children. I know: there will be no girl or woman in your life who will love you as much as I loved you.

Because Nobody will Never love you like I do... I do...

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onun kadar temiz bir yüreğim yoktu biliyorum... bu aşk fazlaydı benim gibi bir ruhsuz için... zaten insana seven değil .iken yaranırmış o da ayrı konu...